Wedding Planning Advice

August 14, 2008

Channeling Your Inner Swayze: To Choreograph or Not To Choreograph

gingerfredastaire.jpgOn Monday I discussed ways to overcome your first dance jitters and mentioned how I wanted to talk about the choreographed first dance. I think couples started to get the idea to do a dance routine during the advent of Dancing With the Stars (I’ve admittedly never watched an episode other than the occasional channel flick and pause, but I do appreciate their AMAZING talent and beauty). So, what is my take on the preplanned dance routine? You may be surprised. While I may have a plan for almost everything personal and professional, I don’t like dance routines and don’t recommend that my couples do one unless dancing is a hobby you both have, it’s something you’ve done for years, or something you both thoroughly enjoy. Why? Well, unless you have some dancing DNA in those jeans (genes?) of yours, it can end up looking overly contrived, stiff, and unnatural. Let’s face it, when normal folks like you and I try our hand at the waltz we don’t look as graceful and elegant as our TV show counterparts. And while the old adage “practice makes perfect” may have gotten you to jam harder on your grade school violin, it may not apply to whizzing around a 300 square foot dance floor with fluidity and grace. I can also guarantee you, with a pretty large degree of certainty, that you’re other half is no Fred Astaire and doesn’t wish to be, either. This brings me to the number one reason why I don’t recommend it to my couples: it is an added level of stress that you both don’t need on your day of. Some people have a hard enough time remembering to recite the vows the minister just spoke, never mind how many counts to the left and right. And when you’re spending more time counting your dance steps and trying to remember your “lines”, you’re spending less time enjoying the moment and each other, which is really the most important.

As I said before, I am a big supporter of taking dance lessons to work with what your momma gave you. It loosens you up and allows the two of you to bond and feel confident about your natural dance ability. Plus, you get to spend some scheduled time together pre-wedding day, which is important!

  1. michelle smith says:

    Candice I agree!! My husband “thinks” he is a great dancer. Well he is not. So for a month before our wedding I had Frank Sinatra’s geatest hits playing in our kitchen everyday. We would laugh and dance and had great fun spinning around the kitchen.

    When the big day came we ran out to the dance floor. We laughed and sang without any reservation. It didn’t matter that there was 250 people looking on because we were in our kitcken with Frank and a glass of wine.

    Pick a song that makes you happy and that you both love.

    Forget about your feet!!!

  2. Although, I’m not opposed to taking dance lessons because I think if the two are great dancers and it’s something they enjoy, then learning some fun and hip routine can be a “WOW” factor for guests to see.

    But, if you’re not a dancer, don’t stress about it. The purpose is to have fun, share the moment, and enjoy the experience. As Michelle mentioned, “Forget about your feet!!!” I’ll add to it, don’t think about it. Just be free and let your body flow to the beat of the music. You’re in love. This is your day. Who cares if you missed a beat?

  3. I absolutely agree 100% on this. It seems to be an emerging trend to have a choreographed first dance but it just creates more stress for the bride and groom and, in my experience, doesn’t lend well to those special little moments between the happy couple. Instead of exchanging a few jokes or sweet words as your guests look on, you’re busy counting out loud and worrying that you’ll forget the routine. Great post!

  4. Candice says:

    Michelle — what a great way to take the “edge” off out on the dance floor. If you have the perspective than it really is no different than the two of you alone in your kitchen!

  5. Candice says:

    Tabitha I so agree which is why I felt it needed some discussion. Thanks for the comment!

  6. Candice says:

    Thanks for your comment Sarah. :) The first dance is about being yourselves and sharing a few intimate moments to ‘catch up’ on the day, and that can be totally lost when you’re busy trying to remember a routine. I’m glad so many other planners agree! :)

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